The Lost Rip
I was going through my YouTube subscriptions, and I saw SiIvaGunner uploaded a new video. The video was titled "The SiIvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis episode 13: Comeback Crisis". I shat my pants in excitement, as I love the CCC. But I was confused... When did the previous episode come out... ? Why did it go straight to episode 13..? And why did the title of the episode start with a C..? Nevertheless, I wasn't worried about that, I was very excited to begin viewing this new visual experience that the SiIvaGunner team whipped up for my enjoyment. I began to watch, but the video was just a static screen with the Kirby: Planet Robobot logo... I was even more confused. Where was my comeback crisis?? I looked at the title and before my very eyes, it changed to Puzzle room. I sat through Puzzle Room for FOUR HOURS... Until, the choice appeared on the screen. So I picked''' НЕТ for the funny meme! Felix appeared on the screen, but he stared at me with hyper-realistic eyes... And what he said chilled me to the core... '''Felix: T u r n b a c k . . . I had already watched the video for FOUR HOURS... I couldn't go back now... So, I hit back on my browser and clicked the video again. This time, I picked the ДА option... But Felix appeared again. This time with bleeding eyes and realistic lips... Felix: I W A R N E D Y O U . . . Then Felix violently ripped his own face off with a familiar scream... THE HOWIE SCREAM! The screen went dark for a few moments. After that, I screamed in excitement as the words "Meanwhile in the Tower." appeared in my Youtube video box! The Voice was sitting in his office as per usual, eating pizza and listening to "Go my way" from Idolm@ster. Suddenly, President Haltmann burst into his office, flailing his arms in a panic! The Voice screamed, as did I. Haltmann was missing half of his face! 'Haltmann:'Voice! Voice! We're detecting odd patterns in SiIva's dreams!! 'The Voice:'What happened to your face Haltmann?! Haltmann paused for a moment, and slowly pulled out his hand mirror... He was horrified to see half of his face gone... But after a brief period, the image in the mirror transformed into the Silver Gun man himself! Haltmann screamed as the rest of his face fell off, and he fell over onto the floor. I was in shock, this is the scariest thing SiIvaGunner had ever made! The Voice ran to his own computer screen and checked the dream monitor. SiIva's dreams were off the charts! The Voice appeared to be sweating... 'The Voice:'Oh god... SiIvaGunner is having a nightmare! I have to call Woodman! He'll know what to do! A nightmare?! The thought of that was horrible! Then, the Voice clicked a remote he held secret in his pocket, and woodman appeared into existence. 'Wood Man:'wtf not nice i was just eating some steamed beans with my good friend robbie as seen in woodman and robbie: siivagunner christhmas comeback crisis side episode. this better be important voice. 'The Voice:'Woodman! SiIvaGunner's dreams are changing! He's no longer dreaming about pleasant things! He's currently having... A NIGHTMARE... 'Wood Man:'oh shit not nice. 'The Voice:'We hooked up SiIva to his computer so his dreams could be broadcasted into the world and we could generate more Christmas spirit... But since they have become nightmares... It has turned into... HALLOWEEN SPIRIT... I screamed! This could not be real! Halloween Spirit? This was supposed to by the CHRISTMAS comeback crisis!! Why was a substance known as Halloween Spirit be on the channel!? I paused the video and ran downstairs to retrieve my best bro and actual brother, Jerome. "Jerome!" I yelled, "Come quick! There's a new episode of the Christmas Comeback Crisis and it's certainly a good one!" He came upstairs with me and we sat in my room. He asked if we could start from the beginning. But when we tried to rewind... FELIX JUMPSCARED US! 'Felix:'Y O U H A D Y O U R C H A N C E T O G O B A C K . I apologized to Jerome, and told him we would have to watch from where I left off. After giving him an explanation of what already happened to this point, we continued to watch the video. 'Wood Man: '''ah shit, not halloween spirit... >:[ '''The Voice: '''I understand you've lost your allegiance to me, but you can see how we need to stop this from happening! '''Wood Man: '''yeah i see dude, lmao i'm on my way Woodman began to walk out of the storage facility, but Robbie stopped him. '''Robbie: '''WOODMAN! AREN'T WE GOING TO FINISH THESE GREENS!? Woodman was about to talk, but he was suddenly surrounded by a red mist, and had an evil look on his face!! '''Wood Man: '''fuck no. Woodman then pulled out a coconut gun and shot Robbie Rotten in the face!!! The red mist floated away. '''Wood Man: '''lmao who the fuck did i just shoot Me and Jerome both shat our drawers in fear! Woodman would never shoot robbie! The siIvagunner team was really making a scary episode!! Woodman walked through grandiose city, to the Voices tower. But the tower was distorted!! Instead of the tower, it looked like a giant statue of SiIva! But woodman saw right through its sneaky lies and walked right in the door as if the tower hadn't changed. He took the elevator to the top of the tower, but it broke down half way through. '''Wood Man: '''not nice. A screen in the elevator lit up and the voice appeared on it. But his voice was different. It was a slow, distorted version of Siiva's voice... '''The Voice: '''Woodman, you are trying to thwart my plans. Turn back now, or face my wrath... '''Wood Man: '''sorry but you are not nice, i'm coming up. Woodman arrived in the office to find the voice twitching and writhing on the floor. Woodman ran over to him and held him in his arms. '''The Voice: '''You have to... Unplug... SiIva... Those were the Voice's dying words... Woodman shed a single tear and walked out of the room. He had a mission. Me and Jerome were freaking out. Siiva just killed off 3 of their biggest characters in a fraction of an episode!!!! Shaking in our boots, we unparsed the video and continued... Woodman made his way out to Siiva's house, and when he got to it, things were looking bad. The entire building was covered in red mist, and storm clouds were surrounding the house. '''Wood Man: '''not nice, halloween spirit is all over the place here. it's the red mist lol. time to equip my wood gas mask lmao. Woodman put on the gas mask and went into the house and found Siiva's computer. '''Wood Man: '''been a long ass time since I was here lmao. Siivas computer was wired up to a machine that had wires going into Siiva's bedroom. Woodman began to approach Siiva's bedroom but a figure appeared in front of the door. It was Grand Dad!! My bro and I scrame because we had been anticipating Grand Dads grand appearance in the ccc!!! But something was off... Grand dad had the same realistic bleeding eyes felix had! Grand dad spoke in a demonic version of Joel Vinesauce's Voice. '''Grand Dad: '''YOU WILL NOT STOP OUR FUN. NEITHER WILL YOUR FRIEND THERE. Grand dad pointed at the screen. Woodman looked behind himself confused. '''Wood Man: '''lmao what. Suddenly, grand dad lunged towards the screen. Woodman dodged and Grand Dad's hand burst through the computer screen! I Screamed! Jerome was caught in Grand Dads grasp and he pulled Jermone back into the screen. '''Wood Man: '''what the hell I was literally crying and shaking. I screamed for my bro and he screamed back to me, but he couldn't hear me. Grand dad held a knife to Jerome's throat. '''Wood Man: '''whoah not nice dude let that guy go lmao Grand dad slit Jerome's throat!! I shad and pissed!!! Jerome!!!!!!!!! I am still shaking now thinking of it... Woodman used the power of his banging-ass fist to bitch slap Grand Dad, and he collapsed to the ground, dead! I cried even harder!! This couldn't be happening! My favorite bro, and Grand Dad were dead! Woodman walked into the bedroom and the image that appeared was disturbing!!! Siiva slept like a peacheful baby while a demonic nozomi, santa, meta knight, tito dick, loud nigra, sens, donkey kong, haruka, homer simpson, peter griffin, and felix surrounded his bed!!! Felix's head twisted around his body. '''Felix: '''You should have turned back. '''Wood Man: '''ok actually what the fuck He stood between Nozomi and Felix. '''Wood Man: '''what the fuck is this shit. Siiva was shaking while the helmet Doc Brown had in Back to the Future sucked his dreams out. It was around this time I tried looking away, but I found I couldn't move my head!! I had to keep watching. Meta Knight looked at Woodman. '''Meta Knight: '''We are guarding the silver one. He is the bringer of life. '''Tito Dick: '''yeah are fucking with his brain and making him have more nightmares so that we can stay in this realm!! '''Wood Man: '''not nice >:[ Woodman realized he needed back up so he tried doing what grand dad did. He turned around and reached through the screen. I screamed as a wooden hand grabbed me and brought me into the world of Siivagunner! '''Wood Man: '''i have backup I was terrified. All the Figments turned and looked at me. '''All: '''What's he gonna do? Piss himself? '''Wood Man: '''ha no. this was just a distraction lmao Woodman quickly ripped the helmet off siivas head. At once, all the red mist dissipated and the figments all fell on the ground dead. The mist culminated into a form... It was the 8-BIT BEAST!!! BACK FOR THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW! Woodman looked at me confidently. '''Wood Man: '''are you ready to ghost this bitch >:] ' 'We totally killed the 8-bit beast with our epic gamer swag! But not really. The beast fucked us up. But out of nowhere, a bright rainbow light came from across the room... Siiva had woken up! '''SiIvaGunner: '''Waht the fuck is happening in here! He shot 8-bit beast with the rainbow beam that mother brain had in the final battle of Super Metroid for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. He walked over to us and helped me and woodman up. '''SiIvaGunner: '''Who the fuck are you guys? Oh yeah you're that brat that fucked up my album artist names fuck you bitch. And who the hell is this? '''Wood Man: '''this is the guy who helped me save you lmao. he's from the real world. mind if i use your computer to send him back? '''SiIvaGunner: '''Sure, whatever, I don't care. Then Woodman shoved me through Siiva's computer screen, and I woke up in my bed screaming. Could this have been a bad dream? I looked over at my computer and checked my youtube watch history. The video was gone... Then I looked on my desk and there was a note. It said: "thanks for helping me out there lmao. -woodman >:] ''P.S. who was that guy grand dad killed" I never watched siivagunner again.